Yet Another Scar
by Sistersgrimm13
Summary: Dean is lost and alone. Only Cas can help him now... Mild language and hints of sexual situations. I do not own supernatural or any of the rights. ENJOY!
1. Chapter 1

This was written with help from a close friend! Thank you so much!

Chapter 1

Sam had fallen into the pit. Dean went to live with Lisa, while Cas went back to Heaven to fight the war. It had been a few months, that's when Dean got bad. Getting drunk was normal, constant, and daily. When Liso became worried about what affect Dean was having on Ben, she kicked him out, sending a heartbroken and lonely Dean to a small motel in Kansas.

A bottle of Wild Turkey planted firmly in hand, Dean was already drunk. But, then again, he was never sober anymore. Hearing a rustle of wings behind him, Dean sighed, but didn't bother to turn around. "It's been a long time, Dean Winchester," said a gruff voice.

"Speak for yourself, Castiel," Dean slurred slightly, booze reeking from his breath. The angle balked at the smell emanating from the older Winchester. Dean turned to face the angel, just in time to see a worried expression cross his face. " What!?"

"You smell heavily of alcohol, Dean," Cas commented formally, back to his pre-Winchester self.

"So what?" Ean barked, causing Cas' eyes to widen, going tense.

"I understand the pain you are feeling from your brother's death, but..."

"You don't understand shit, Castiel," Dean interrupted angrily, spit flying from his lips. Castiel clenched his fists, trying to control his anger. "You haven't been here... since Sammy..." he trailed off, unable to finish that statement.

"I have a war to fight, Dean! I can not cater to your every whim." Rage was slipping into Castiel's voice with every syllable. "I am trying to teach Heaven what you have taught me, The fate of my home is in the balance, and you can not even pull yourself out of your own problems to worry about it..." About me, he thought silently. "What's happened to you?" he spat, and in a clutter of wings and a brilliant flash of light, he was gone, leaving the room feeling darker and emptier than ever before.

"Life!" Dean screamed as he threw the almost empty bottle where his former best friend once stood. Staring at the dark, empty spot in the room, tears beginning to pour down his face like rain on a window, and somewhere, Castiel felt that pain deep in his heart. The cap popped off Dean's next bottle of booze.

For three weeks, every night, Dean layed in bed, drunk, praying for Castiel to come back, praying for his forgiveness. Every night for three week, Castiel heard him, but he never came.

Finally as he spiraled deeper and deeper into a never ending pain, Dean stopped praying to Castiel, stopped his silent pleas. He didn't sleep, didn't stop drinking, instead he stared at the broken bottle, shattered like his heart and his only remaining friendship, thinking of Castiel. That night, he was past drunk, it had been six days since his eyes had last closed and his dreams had inevitably turned to the years he spent in Hell. As he gazed at the broken glass, as he always did, he thought that maybe if he simply held the shards he would feel the warmth of Castiel against his skin. When he looked up for just a moment, Cas was there, but he looked wrong, all the innocence obliterated from his face. Then, the yelling started. Every weakness Dean had was exploited, every doubt and fear was realized. Then, in the blink of an eye, Castiel was gone.

With a tear streaked face, Dean dropped to his knees in front of the glass, wondering what it would be like to feel Cas through his skin. Angry and bitter, he held the shard to his arm and laughed as it tore the barrier of inside and out. To his fading mind and altered sense of reality, dark Cas was there, urging him on, willing the glass to cut through layers of pale skin. When the blood started to flow, Castiel giggled, a twisted grin on his face. Time and time again, the ragged edge of the glass met beautiful skin, leaving deep red gashes, spilling crimson blood tainted with alcohol onto the tile floor. Unconscious, Dean didn't hear the flutter of wings, and the pained gasp as the real, safe Cas saw Dean, bleeding out on the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

Here's the new chapter. Again, a shout out to my BFF who helps me write! Please enjoy!

Even sleeping was painful for Dean. Cas hated to hear the whimpering, but what he hated even more was the pain that morphed Dean's face. He was tempted time and time again to give in and let Dean have a sip of the horrid alcohol, to ease his pain and suffering, but he resisted, thinking of the way Dean used to be. Castiel was always close, almost constantly in contact with Deans smooth pale skin, hearing his thoughts, sharing his pain.

While Cas got up to get another cold rag, hoping to calm Dean's raging fever, Dean's eyes opened for the first time in hours. As Cas rushed back into the room, a small, weak voice came from the bed. "Cas?" it mumbled. "Why?" Dean was so pitifully frail, that even when Cas lifted his head to put it in his lap, he whimpered pitifully.

And as Cas looked into Dean's soul with tear filled eyes, he touched their foreheads together and replied simply, "Never again, Dean. Never again." A small smile played at Dean's lips before he fell back into a deep unconscious.

The withdrawals got worse and worse day by day. Dean was either unconscious or hallucinating, but both led to the same place, both led him back to his 40 years in Hell. He was constantly being tortured Alastair, not giving in, never giving in, because Cas was there, making him stronger, giving him the will to survive. Dean had forgotten what it was like to be close to Cas, to feel his presence and his warmth. He forgot how his soul sang when the angel was around. Finally, recognition lit Dean's eyes, as he got sucked viciously back into reality. "Please, Cas," he begged in a Cas voice. "Just a little bit."

Cas shook his head violently, clearing any thought of giving the oldest Winchester what he wanted. "No, Dean! You won't do this to me again." Dean grabbed onto his shirt, not noticing the lack of trench coat.

"Damn you, Castiel! I knew that I never should've trusted you! You were never there for me... or Sammy!" Then as he faded back into the dark depths of Hell, he tried one more time. "Please, Cas," his hands slipping off Cas' shirt. Salty tears poured down down Castiel's face, cascading onto Dean, wrapped firmly in the angel's arms.

"Months with angels, and within hours, you make me human again," he whispered softly.

The next time he woke up, Dean was much better. Light scars littered his arms, a small reminder of what had happened. He was warm, feeling safe and comfortable, as he snuggled down into the warmth. It was then that he noticed Cas' arms around him, half asleep mumbling, "Dean, so sorry."

"Cas, you look like shit," Dean rasped through dry lips, not bothering to move out of the angel's grasp. With a start, Cas jolted awake, his blue eyes still hazy. Seeing Dean's dark green eyes without a hint of alcohol, he threw his arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. "Ow, Cas, it hurts," Dean laughed gently. Slightly loosening his grip, the angel held Dean in his arms, and Dean liked it very much.

"I'm very sorry for my appearance, Dean. My vessel has grown tired and I have not yet had the time to fix it. Please forgive me," Cas mumbled softly into Dean's ear. Dean pulled back. looking at the dark circles under Cas' eyes, the way his hair had no order to it, and he felt awful. "It's not your fault, Dean. I wasn't around enough," Castiel apologised.

"No, it is my fault, Cas. I wasn't strong enough..." his statement was cut off as the angel laid a gentle finger to his lips.

"Don't, Dean," he pleaded softly. "I feel bad enough already," and in a very human gesture he smiled, tightening his hold on the hunter.

"Get some rest, Cas. I'll still be here when you wake up," promised Dean, whispering soothingly. "I swear," he added, seeing the doubt in the angel's eyes. Relaxing, Cas laid back into the pillows, keeping Dean cradled to hsi chest.

"Stay, Dean," he commanded, feeling Dean trying to squirm out of his grasp. To his surprise, Dean stilled, falling asleep as Cas worked on fixing his human vessel.

The next day, Dean stood in front of the mirror, fresh out of the shower. "I love you. I love you. I love you, Cas," he muttered over and over again, working up the courage to tell the real angel. He was nervous, afraid of rejection, afraid of weakness.

"Dean, are you okay?" Cas asked through the door for about the eighth time that morning.

"Yeah, I'm fine." With only a towel on, Dean pulled open the door, revealing a startled looking Cas. "I forgot my clothes," he explained, loving the feeling of Cas' eyes on his body. "Cas?" he asked gently, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Yes, Dean?" replied the angel, sitting just a few inches from the hunter, who was glad to notice that Cas still didn't understand "personal space" yet.

"Do you know what love is?"

"Yes."

"Do you know what true love is?"

"Of course." He paused slightly before asking," Why do you want to know this?"

"Cas, I think, that I might, like... love you," Dean muttered before repeating determinately, "I love you, Castiel." Not even taking in a reaction, he leaned forward, kissing Cas passionately. Even more surprising was when Castiel started kissing him back.

"I love you too, Dean. More than Heaven and Earth, I love you," Cas moaned as Dean's lips trailed down his throat.

"Then take off the trenchcoat," Dean growled, already undoing Cas' blue tie.

"You look amazing, Cas" Dean commented, staring at the angel's muscular chest, drawing small patterns with light fingertips. Castiel sighed blissfully, not believing that he could finally hold Dean in his arms, feel his heart beating in his chest.

"I love you, Dean," Cas whispered in Dean's ear, letting a playful grin light up his face. Just as Dean was about to reply, his phone started ringing. With a groan he turned to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, boy. I think that I might have found a job for you."

"I'm in Kansas. I can probably be there in 10 hours." The phone clicked, leaving Dean at the other end with a curious angel peering curiously over his shoulder. "We gotta go." Dean could see the hurt in Cas' eyes. "I love you too," he said, kissing him on the lips. Castiel returned the kiss passionately, letting Dean explore his mouth before pulling back.

Looking at his clothes crumpled and dirty on the floor, he readied himself to mojo up some new ones before Dean laid a light hand on his shoulder. "Dean, I need to wear clothing in public, yes?" asked Castiel skeptically.

"Yes, but you could just where one of my shirts. Unless you don't want to, of course." Cas smiled gently at Dean, leaning in for another kiss. "Not now, hon. We gotta go, Bobby's waiting for us." Dean sighed sadly, his eyes once again trailing down the angel's body to where the sheets began. Getting out of the bed, he threw the waiting Castiel jeans, boxers, and a t-shirt, watching contentedly as the his angel put on his clothes. He could feel the need building up, before he could lose control, he turned quickly, slipping on his own clothes.

Cas must have noticed how quickly Dean turned away so he said, "Do I not look good?" hurt seeping into his voice.

"Babe, you look so amazingly perfect. I can't... control myself... seeing you like that," Dean groaned, not understanding what was going on.

"Dean?" Cas whispered, standing so close that Dean could feel his breath on the back of his neck.

"Yeah, Cas," he moaned breathily.

"Did you touch my wing last night?" and Dean remembered everything. The touches, the moaning, and the snap as Cas' wings unfurled. Dean was more than thrilled at the breakthrough.

"Yes, I believe I did," he muttered, turning to look into angelic blue eyes. Need pushed him over the edge. He needed Cas' lips on his skin, to feel his heart hammering in his chest. "I need you, right now," moaned Dean, pushing Cas onto the bed with a thump.

"Anytime, Dean. I'm yours," moaned the angel, needing Dean almost as much as Dean needed him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much for all the comments. A shout out to everyone is still reading this. Also, thank you as always to the friend who helps the ideas flow. Enjoy!**

Dean noticed Cas wince slightly as he slid into the Impala. "Cas, I'm so sor-."

"Dean Winchester, say you're sorry one more time time, and I won't talk to you til we get to Bobby's," threatened the angel, mad at himself for showing such weakness.

"Aright. Sorry, hon," apologised Dean. "For saying sorry that is," he added quickly, seeing the astounded look on the angel's face.

They made good time, a combination of Dean's ridiculous driving, a low need for food, only stopping for gas, and lots of energy shots. When they finally did arrive at Bobby's, Cas nearly had to drag Dean out of his beloved car. "Evenin', Bobby," Dean called through the door, holding open for Cas.

"Castiel!" Bobby greeted, slightly surprised at the presence of the angel.

"Looks like you finally managed to pull Dean back."

"Not without much effort," Cas replied with a shudder, causing Dean to hang his head a little.

"Dean." Even Bobby, who didn't show much emotion, pulled him in for a hug. "Ya' idjit." Dean smiled one of his dazzling smiles that made Cas' heart flutter in his chest. "Coffee, boys?" Bobby called, walking into the kitchen.

"Tequila..." Dean started, before seeing the devastated look on his angel's face. He cringed internally at the scars he had left on Castiel, wanting so badly to wipe away those memories and make it all better. "Coffee works just fine," he revised, relieved to see the pain disappear from Cas' face.

"Castiel?" Bobby called.

"I'm good, Bobby." Dean sat down in one of the armchairs. Castiel made to go sit on the couch before Dean hooked an arm around his waist, pulling him into his lap. "Are you certain?" he asked, looking in the direction of the kitchen.

"About time." Cas and Dean both turned, seeing Bobby standing in the doorway smiling. The Lord's Angel loved Bobby in that moment, love him for blessing this, blessing his love for Dean.

"Glad you approve," the hunter snorted, resting his forehead against Castiel's, getting lost in his eyes.

"Alright guys, tone it down a notch. I can only handle so much of that," Bobby chortled, handing Dean his coffee.

"Sorry, Bobby," Castiel said, his cheeks flushing a slight red. Dean started laughing, shaking Cas with him.

"There's no reason to be embarrassed, babe," he sighed in response to the questioning look shot at him by the angel. Castiel smiled at him, the use of a human term of affection giving him great pleasure. "So, what've you got for us?" Dean questioned, looking past Castiel to Bobby who was grinning like a kid on Christmas morning.

"Well, I've been hearing reports of a Wendigo in the mountains of Colorado. It sounded like an easy job for you to go on, especially with an angel at your side." Dean bit his lip at that. Cas was a great fighter, probably better than the older Winchester on a good day, but the thought of anything happening to him, anything at all, made Dean uneasy, his stomach quivering with fear. Using his special angel powers, Cas could sense how unsettled his hunter was, sent him a questioning glance.

"That sounds great. We'll head out first thing in the morning." A gigantic yawn ripped through Dean's chest. Without a word, Cas dragged Dean up the stairs to the spare bedroom.

"What is wrong, love?" he inquired innocently once they were in bed, kissing up and down Dean's neck to help him relax.

"I can't... imagine what it would do to me if you were hurt while we were hunting for this thing. I don't know what I would do, Cas." His eyes were filled to the brim with silent unshed tears.

"Shhh... Nothing will happen to me. We've fought these many times. If anyone should be nervous it's me. You are so fragile. I can mend myself without a thought, but you. You are so easily hurt, and you manage it every single time." Before Cas could continue, Dean crushed his lips, not being able to last another second without the feel of Cas against him.

"I love you more than I've loved anything, ever," he whispered sweetly into Cas' ear before falling into a deep sleep.

"Cas!" Dean was yelling, trying to ward off the Wendigo. The angel had been thrown into the solid rock wall, knocking him unconscious. With a cry of rage, the hunter killed the beast before rushing to Castiel' side. The angel was dinged up pretty bad, his wing was bleeding, a big gash running along his forehead. "Castiel, wake up. You promised you wouldn't get hurt," Dean said sternly, hoping that Castiel could hear him.

"Ow," Cas whined, scooting himself closer to Dean. Relief flooded Dean's mind, before he turned to the necessary work to Castiel.

"You're hurt pretty bad. You can fix this, right?"

"It would take too much energy to repair my wing," Castiel gasped as he focused on his head. "We'll need to fold it and wrap it until we get back to Bobby's." Sweat beaded on his face, and Dean could tell he was in a tremendous amount of pain.

"Take us there."

"We would have to leave your car-"

"If it means you can heal faster, the I don't give a damn about the car," Dean snapped, wanting only to help Cas. The angel gave the tiniest of smiles before mojoing them to Bobby's living room.

"Holy Hell!" Bobby muttered, examining Cas' wing gingerly. Dean sat next to the angel, holding his hand as Castiel groaned in pain. "I'm sorry, but I have to patch this up. It's pretty bad." The look in Dean's eyes prompted Bobby to take a needle of morphine, hoping to ease the angel's pain. When Cas fell asleep, they snuck out of the room, letting him get his rest.

"Will he be okay, Bobby?" Dean whispered, taking a long sip of the shaking water glass.

"Yeah, Dean, your angel will be fine. I don't deal much with angels, but that will probably heal up in a few days," Bobby reassured him, taking shots of whiskey. Whimpering sounded from the bedroom, causing Dean to rush up the stairs.

"Baby, are you alright?"

"I'm not an infant," Castiel sighed pitifully against Dean's chest, before falling back asleep.

"Dean, I'm fine," whined Cas, trying to get out of Dean's grasp. The hunter was pushing Castiel onto the bed, urging him not to get up.

"You aren't fine until I say you're fine," Dean pushed, a tone of finality in his voice. With a sigh, the angel fell back into bed, seeing that Dean wasn't going to let him get up any time soon. "Good boy." With a huff, Castiel grabbed Dean's jacket, dragging their lips together.

"I love you, Dean."

"Love you, too," Dean whispered, hoping that this moment would never end.

It took only days for Cas to heal. Dean still fretted over his baby constantly, an attention that Castiel loved. That is, before he had to leave again.

"Dean, I'm being called back to heaven. I must go. They need me in this war. My companions have been struggling without me over my extended absence. I must go."

"Cas... Don't leave me, please," Dean begged, knowing that in a few moments tears were going to start leaking down his face. "I don't know what I'd do if you..." Then, the waterworks started. Salty tears poured down his cheeks, leaving small streaks behind.

"I will come back. I know that much. I promise you, Dean. I will always come back." Cas stroked away the tears as quickly as they fell. "I want to give you something before I leave, but I don't know what the consequences will be to you, and the only reason I offer is because I don't want you waste away while I'm gone. Dean, this is very dangerous, and I want you to think carefully about this before you accept."

"What is it, love?"

"I would like to give you part of my grace. Only a small piece of it, but you will be able to tell if something happens to me. If anything happens to me you'll know, but I don't know what it will do to you. It shouldn't do anything, but I'm not sure. Are you ready for this, Dean?"

"Yes. There is no doubt in my mind that I'm ready to do this. I love you, Cas. More than anyone, or anything, before." With only a moment of hesitation, Castiel leaned over to kiss Dean. Suddenly, there was a warmth to the kiss, and it settled in his chest.

"There, it is done," Cas said, taking Dean's hand and placing it on his heart. You now have a small piece of me inside you. It will tell you when I'm injured or if I..."

"Don't you dare say that word."

"I have to leave now," sighed Castiel, pressing their foreheads together. "I'll be back, I promise. I love you, Dean."

"You better come back, Cas. I love you too much to let you go." With tears in his eyes, Castiel was gone in a flutter of wings, taking Dean's heart with him. Dean sulked his way back inside to go find the first bottle of booze that he could lay his hands on. "Bobby! Where's the tequila?"

"Not in your damn life, boy. Cas asked me to do him a favor, made me promise that I wouldn't let you do that to yourself again. I don't plan to break that promise." With that, Dean broke down, collapsing in a kitchen chair and sobbing.

"What will I do if he dies, Bobby? How will I live without him?"

"He'll be back, Dean. He always comes back."

Life went on like that for a few weeks. Dean felt a warmth in his chest he had never felt before, and was often rubbing the place where Cas' grace now rested. Bobby didn't know what to do with him. They couldn't go hunting, not with Dean the way he was, so instead they sat around, talking, Bobby working hard to keep Dean distracted. Finally, one day, with a flutter of wings and a flash of brilliant light, Cas appeared. Dean was sleeping in the living room, his head on his chest, snoring lightly. "Dean, love, wake up," Cas cooed lightly, sitting in Dean's lap. Groggy green eyes flew open, finding Castiel so close that he could feel his breath on his skin.

"Cas!" Dean pulled him in for a kiss. "I missed you so much. God, I love you."

"I can only stay for the night. Tomorrow is the final battle, the point between victory or defeat. I needed to see you before then, to tell you that I love you. Dean, if I don't come back, I want you to do something for me."

"What?"

"Live. I want you to live." With that, Castiel pulled Dean in for another kiss, this time trailing down his collar bone, leaving small marks on his skin.

When Dean woke in the morning, Castiel was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

**This story is getting so close to the end. Only one more chapter left... Love you all so much. Thanks for sticking with me!**

That day felt like years. Dean sat anxiously awaiting the return of his love, rubbing his chest over and over again, waiting for something, anything, to happen. Dread washed over him in waves over and over again, leaving him useless for anything other than sitting. Countless times Bobby urged him to get up, to eat, to sleep, to do anything, but Dean didn't move, barely acknowledged his presence. Then, something happened.

Dean was sitting in the living room, and for a split second, everything stopped. Then. a shrill scream filled the room as Dean's body was engulfed in pain, his mind feeling like it was being ripped to shreds. He saw Bobby's boots drawing closer before he passed out.

"Will he be okay?" a deep gruff voice questioned close to Dean's ear.

"You tell me, angel. You're the one that did this to him." Bobby huffed angrily.

"The side effects were unusual. He grew overly attached to my grace, so that when something did happen, it felt the same, if not stronger than what was happening to me," the voice explained, worry seeping into every word.

"What happened to you?"

"My human form was incinerated. An attempt by Raphael to render me useless to my troops. It was foolish. I came back stronger and we won. I left my angel comrades to rebuild what they can."

"Cas?"

"Dean? Love, is that you?" the voice, correction. Castiel was at his ear. Dean could feel his breath on his neck.

"I thought you were dead!" Dean cried, springing into a sitting position, giving him an awful dizzy spell. Cas laid him back down gently. "Don't ever do that to me again," he scolded gently, staring into Cas' eyes.

"Never again, Dean. Never again." With that, Castiel removed himself from the bed, eliciting a small whimper from Dean, before he sat himself up to see his angel clearly. Cas was on knee, holding a box in front of him. "Dean Winchester, though I may not be human, I want to bond myself with you in every way that I can. Will you marry me?"

Dean was speechless... There was a moment where everything stood still, and after that moment, a smile that could've rivaled the sun filled the room. "Of course. I love you more than anything else. Yes." A smile lit Castiel's face before he slid the perfectly fitted ring on Dean's finger and pulled him into hug.

"I love more," Castiel reminded him gently.

"Congratulations, boys. I better start inviting people." With that, Bobby walked out of the room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Last chapter... Sad that this story is over, but there will be more to come, promise. As always, thank you so much, bestie! You know who you are! As for everyone else, thanks for putting up with me thus far. Please enjoy the story!**

"Do you, Dean Winchester, take Castiel to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as you both shall live?" Bobby was performing the wedding ceremony. Dean and Castiel were standing at the alter, an assorted group of hunters gathered in the small meadow.

"I do." Dean was tall and confident, he said the words loudly and clearly so that everyone could hear.

"Do you, Castiel, take Dean Winchester to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." Though Castiel was just as sure, tears poured down his face, so his words came out shaky and quieter.

"Well, for Pete's sake, kiss the man," Bobby concluded. They leaned in for a long passionate kiss before Dean pulled away and went to mingle with the crowd, Castiel at his side.

"Dean?" Cas whispered.

"Yes, love?" Dean responded automatically.

"Am I bleeding out my eyes?" Dean laughed, pulling in his angel for a hug.

...

Their honeymoon was spent in a small cabin that Dean had fixed up years ago. When they arrived, Dean carried Cas in bridal style, much to Castiel's content. "Castiel?" Dean asked, laying in bed after a long night.

"Yes, Dean?" Cas yawned, not knowing these human feelings of tiredness.

"Are you allowed to do this? Us, I mean? Isn't this not alright?" Cas chuckled.

"Dean, love is love. The way God's message is interpreted is usually not what he actually means. Don't you think that if God was really against gays there wouldn't be any?" He wasn't condescending, or cruel about it, and his words made perfect sense to Dean.

"I love you, Castiel. Never leave me again," Dean sighed, as Cas curled up on his chest.

"I couldn't even if I tried," the angel yawned, glad that Dean's arms were around him. "I love you more than anything else." With that, the angel fell asleep, and Dean listened to his baby snore lightly ob his chest before falling into a deep slumber.


End file.
